you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
