Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
