So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Just puked most of my soul out..
tell me about the eggs
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize