Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
