My nipple is on Facebook.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
