yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
