At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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