Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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