We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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