That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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