Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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