and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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