I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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