It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize