the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
