would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
My dick has a subreddit
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
