ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Randomize
