I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
We named our party play list daddy issues
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize