Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize