awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
