i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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