Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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