You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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