Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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