Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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