Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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