escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize
