Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
