Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
