The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize