I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
