shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
