I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
