It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
