soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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