I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize