i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
