Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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