the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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