I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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