Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize