As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
You dont lie about slip and slides
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize
