What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
