But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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