Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
