I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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