Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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