Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
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