Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
