I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
