Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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