real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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