i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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