Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize