I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Randomize