yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
