I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
