The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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