I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
