I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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