your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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