This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
