so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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