is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
