Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize