Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
