About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
