lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize