I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
God, you're like boner-b-gone
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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